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In Dina McGreevey's newly released book, Silent Partner, and in her recent interview on the Oprah Winfrey Show, she flatly denies that she knew her husband was gay. Despite Jim McGreevey's claims to the contrary, an infidelity expert is inclined to believe Dina McGreevey is being truthful when she says she had no knowledge of her husband's same-sex affairs.
The Last to Know
"It's highly unlikely that Dina McGreevey knew her husband was gay." says infidelity expert Ruth Houston, founder of InfidelityAdvice.com and author of Is He Cheating on you - 829 Telltale Signs. "Most gay married men are very skilled when it comes to concealing their sexual orientation. Their wives and girlfriends are usually the last to know. Like most unsuspecting women who are in marriages or relationships with gay men, Dina McGreevey probably had no inkling that she was a victim of same-sex infidelity."
Gay Husbands Not Uncommon
Dina McGreevey's situation is by no means unique. Take a look at some of the facts:
* According to the Centers for Disease Control, more than 3 million women are, or have been wives or girlfriends of men who secretly have sex with other men. The Straight Spouse Network cites similar statistics.
* According to the Family Pride Coalition, 20 % of America's gay men in are in heterosexual marriages.
* At least 50% of the gay men in America have fathered children.
Most Same-Sex Infidelty Goes Undetected
Houston, a New York-based infidelity expert who is also author of a 2-part tip sheet on how wives can spot the signs of same-sex infidelity says, "Most infidelity goes undetected - and that includes same-sex infidelity. Studies show that 2/3 of the women whose husbands are cheating in them have no idea these men are having an extramarital affair. So not only are these women unaware that they're married to gay or bisexual men, they're also oblivious to the fact that their husbands are even having an affair. Some of these unsuspecting wives never find out."
Why Women Miss the Telltale Signs
Houston continues, "Unfortunately, when women like Dina McGreevey finally learn the truth about their husbands, they often blame themselves for not having seen the signs. Yet they have no clue as to what kinds of signs they should have seen. However, unless a woman has reason to suspect that her husband might be gay, it's unlikely that she'd pick up any of the signs. Most of them are quite subtle and easy to overlook. Dina McGreevey admits that there were no obvious signs of her husband's secret life."
"Even if a woman begins to suspect that her husband may be gay, she usually has no idea of how to go about confirming or disproving what she suspects. Knowing what -- and what not --to look for is the key."
Myths About Identifying Gay Married Men
According to Houston, who has spent the past 14 years researching and writing about infidelity, there are two common myths about identifying gay or bisexual married men.
Myth Number 1 - A gay husband can be identified by his outward appearance or his mannerisms - the way he walks, talks, dresses, or acts.
Myth Number 2 - It's impossible for a woman to tell if her husband or boyfriend is gay.
As a result of this misinformation, most women have no idea how to tell if their husband or boyfriend s sexually involved with other men.
Finding the Signs of Same Sex Infidelity
Two years ago, Houston, who also does personal infidelity consultations by phone, began receiving an increasing number of requests from her readers and website visitors for information about same sex infidelity.
Says Houston, "Since very little has been written about the signs of same-sex infidelity and how to spot them, I compiled a 2-part tip sheet on this topic. It gives women a discreet, accurate 3-step procedure for finding out if their husbands or boyfriends are bisexual or gay. Requests for the Same Sex Infidelity tip sheet quadrupled after Brokeback Mountain made its debut."
from Press Release
The estranged wife of former New Jersey Gov. James E. McGreevey knew he was gay before they married, he claimed in court papers filed Monday.
McGreevey wrote that Dina Matos McGreevy "knew of my sexual orientation before our marriage, she chose to either ignore it or block it out of her mind, even when questioned by her friends."
The former governor doesn't detail how she knew he was gay, but objects to his wife's contention in recent court papers that he is bisexual.
"On the offhand chance she wasn't paying attention, I AM A GAY AMERICAN," he wrote, referencing the term he used to describe himself when he announced his resignation in August 2004. "She is in deep denial."
An after-hours telephone message left at Matos McGreevey's workplace was not immediately returned Monday. Her lawyer, John Post, did not immediately respond to an e-mail message seeking comment.
McGreevey resigned after saying he was gay and had an affair.
The former governor also defended his parenting skills in the filing. He said despite the demands of being governor he was never "indifferent" to their 5-year-old daughter, as his estranged wife claims.
Last week, Matos McGreevey claimed in court papers that he exposed their young daughter to erotic artwork at the home he now shares with partner Mark O'Donnell, an Australian money manager. She is seeking primary custody.
McGreevey, 49, countered in Monday's filing that his wife "HAS NEVER SEEN THE PHOTOGRAPH" of the nude male model.
Matos McGreevey's memoir is scheduled to reach bookstores May 1.
from The Associated Press
TRENTON, NEW JERSEY - Former Gov. James E. McGreevey's estranged wife will take her turn telling tales of life with the closeted gay politician on the Oprah Winfrey show.
Dina Matos McGreevey's appearance on May 1 will coincide with the release her memoir, "Silent Partner," published by Hyperion.
Hyperion spokeswoman Beth Gebhard confirmed Matos McGreevey's upcoming chat with Oprah, as well as two-part "Good Morning America" exclusive on May 2 and May 3. The scheduled Oprah appearance was first reported Wednesday in The Star-Ledger of Newark.
Matos McGreevey's book follows by less than a year the splashy confessional written by her husband. His tell-all detailed his rapid political rise as a closeted gay man and his spectacular fall after being threatened with blackmail by a former male lover.
He kicked off his national book tour with an appearance on Oprah last September.
On the program, he shocked the studio audience by telling of an affair with a male aid that he said began while his wife was in the hospital recovering from the difficult birth of their child, now 5.
McGreevey recently filed for divorce, and has asked the judge for custody of their daughter and accompanying child support.
Matos McGreevey has never spoken publicly about her role as the gay governor's wife. Neither she nor her lawyer returned calls or e-mail requests for comment on Wednesday.
McGreevey also did not return a message for comment.
Matos McGreevey is remembered for the dazed look on her face and pasted-on smile she wore while standing beside her husband as he told the world he was "a gay American" in August 2004.
McGreevey now lives in Plainfield with his partner, Australian money manager Mark O'Donnell. Matos McGreevey lives in nearby Springfield with their daughter, Jacqueline.
from Newsday
TRENTON, NEW JERSEY - Former Gov. James McGreevey, who announced he was gay in 2004, filed for divorce Friday from his wife of seven years.
McGreevey's lawyers filed the two-page document seeking to dissolve his union with Dina Matos McGreevey in Elizabeth, county court spokeswoman Sandra Thaler-Gerber confirmed.
The two have lived apart since November 2004, when McGreevey resigned after announcing that he was "a gay American" who had had an affair with a male staffer.
"It's a sad day for everyone," McGreevey told The Associated Press on Friday. "It is something that had to be done. We are blessed with a wonderful daughter who remains our focus."
The marriage was McGreevey's second. His previous marriage also ended in divorce.
The male staffer named by McGreevey - Golan Cipel - was hired by the governor in 2002 to a $110,000-a-year homeland security post despite having little experience. Cipel has said he isn't gay and accused McGreevey of sexually harassing him. McGreevey said Cipel tried to blackmail him and that he resigned rather than succumb to threats.
Matos McGreevey, who stood at her husband's side as he told the world he was gay, now lives in Springfield with the couple's 5-year-old daughter, Jacqueline. McGreevey lives in Plainfield with his partner, Australian-born money manager Mark O'Donnell.
She has 35 days to answer her husband's filing or file a counterclaim.
McGreevey and Matos McGreevey legally separated Jan. 12, but Matos McGreevey said some issues regarding their daughter remain unresolved.
"We continue to have profound differences about what our daughter should be exposed to, and until they are resolved, there will be no agreement," she said through her lawyer, John N. Post.
The relationship between McGreevey and his wife has been subject to much speculation since McGreevey's resignation. People wondered whether Matos McGreevey knew her husband was gay and whether she willingly helped hide his homosexuality to advance his political career.
McGreevey indicated in his tell-all book last summer, "The Confession," that his wife suspected his homosexuality as early as 2002, confronting him and asking if he were gay. He wrote that he thought about telling her the truth, but said nothing.
She also has written a book, "Silent Partner," scheduled for publication May 1, in which she is expected to tell about her life with the former governor for the first time.
from The Associated Press
NEW YORK - The estranged wife of former New Jersey Gov. James E. McGreevey, who in 2004 stunned the nation by announcing he was gay and resigning from office, is writing a memoir. Dina Matos McGreevey's "Silent Partner" is scheduled to be published this spring by Hyperion Books.
"I've had a lot of requests for interviews and appearances, but thought it best for my daughter (Jacqueline) and myself to stay out of the public maelstrom," Dina McGreevey said in a statement released Thursday by Hyperion.
"But two years have passed and still I am the subject of much speculation as to the nature of my relationship with my husband. Enough is enough."
James McGreevey's memoir, "The Confession," came out last fall. He wrote in the book that he was forced to quit after a man he loved threatened to reveal his homosexuality unless he was paid millions to stay quiet.
from The Associated Press
