Dear Amy:
I recently found out that my two children are bisexual. The last eight years have been a test of my "true grit" and inner fortitude.
On top of my 20-year marriage ending because of infidelity, I have suffered family betrayal and my small business has failed.
Now I have to learn that my children are bisexual. My daughter is 19, attending community college and living with her much-younger boyfriend, his mother and the mother's live-in lover. I never suspected that she was a bisexual until recently.
My son is 15 and has several girlfriends that he hangs out with. They are always calling the house at all hours, wanting to talk with him, but to be honest, I have some suspicions that he might be gay.
Could this be inherited? I have read that there is a tendency for homosexuality to run in families. My ex-husband had so many "dirty little secrets" that eventually came to light and caused our marriage to end. Throughout our marriage, I sometimes wondered about his sexuality. He never acted very masculine.
In light of all that has happened during the last eight years, I feel even more overwhelmed about how to handle the bisexuality issue. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Overwhelmed in Appalachia
So far, you haven't presented any evidence that your children are bisexual, but let's concede for the sake of argument that they are. Sexuality isn't always a fixed state. People fall at every point along the spectrum. Whether sexual orientation is inherited is the source of some debate, but for your purposes it doesn't matter. It is what it is.
Young people sometimes go through periods of trying different things before settling in with a long-term partner. You should assume that your children's lives are as chaotic as yours has been. You should focus more on trying to provide some stability for yourself and your family, and less on questions of their sexuality. You can't influence your children's sexuality, but you can influence their life choices.
from The Washington Post
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