Former Real World Cast Member Addresses Gay Stereotypes

His boyfriend decided to leave the military for fear of being found out, he was practically a prisoner in his home for two years and his extended family doesn't speak to him anymore.
Those were just a few subjects that Danny Roberts, a former cast member of MTV's "The Real World," spoke about Tuesday night at Penn State Fayette, The Eberly Campus.
Roberts, 28, was a cast member of "The Real World-New Orleans" and achieved much recognition on the show as the only housemate who was openly gay.
He also gained popularity on the show for having his boyfriend, Paul Dill, who was an officer in the U.S. Army, on many episodes.
Roberts, who is from a small town in northern Georgia, said it was very hard to come to terms with his homosexuality.
"Where I come from, it's not a place that's very open-minded," Roberts said. "I had a very negative view of what gay is, and I believed all the stereotypes that gay people are sick and that they're pedophiles. I wanted nothing at all to do with gay people."
He said that it wasn't until he was in college at the University of Georgia that he realized that something was different about him.
"I played basketball with a guy named Andy, and a close friendship evolved," Roberts said. "Then I woke up one morning at Andy's house, and I realized that it was something else more than a friendship. I became angry with Andy, and made myself out to be a victim, and that Andy had done this to me. So, I discontinued the friendship."
He said that he didn't allow himself to be around people who were gay for fear that he would come to a realization that he was gay himself.
Roberts also explained that he tried to have straight relationships, but always found something wrong with the other person.
"It was either she was too short or talked too much," he said.
In his third year in college, Roberts said he met two men who were married to women, but were gay. He said that the men were trapped in their lives and miserable, but felt they were doing what was expected of them by society. That's when Roberts realized he was on the same path and finally "woke up".
"The hardest thing about being gay was admitting it to myself," he said. "Many people believe that being gay is a choice, and I tried to beat it out of myself. You have to break down many walls, and finally own it."
He graduated with a degree in French and international relations in the fall of 1999 and tried out for "The Real World" at the same time. That also was the time he decided to tell his parents about being gay.
"I did the typical 'coming out' on Christmas Eve night, a few weeks before I left to go on 'The Real World,'" he said. "So, I told myself, my parents and America all at the same time."
Roberts said his family had a hard time at first, but then came to terms with him being gay.
However, he said, his extended family doesn't want anything to do with him.
"I was actually very lucky because many times the story doesn't end the way mine did," Roberts said.
He also met Dill around the same time, so he was developing a relationship in front of America as well. Television producers blurred out Dill's face because he was an officer in the military and could have been dishonorably discharged or sent to prison if it was found out he was gay.
Gays in the military is something that Roberts said he has become passionate about.
He has become very outspoken about the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that the government created in 1993 that acknowledges there are gays in the military, but asks them not to tell anyone.
"How can our military be overseas trying to create freedom for other countries when some members of the same military aren't free to be who they are?" he said. "The government is essentially turning people away from the military."
However, he said, it is time for some evolution in the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, and he thinks there will be some major change in the next five to 10 years.
Roberts also spoke about life after "The Real World" and the challenges that he and Dill faced.
"Paul and I moved to a small town in North Carolina where gossip spreads quickly and everybody knows who you are," he said. "Because Paul was still in the military, we couldn't go anywhere together or do anything together. And when you can't go to the grocery store with your significant other, something's wrong."
Roberts said Dill eventually made the decision to leave the military two years ago, and they moved to the state of Washington.
"On the West Coast, the gay issue is very much done with there," he said. "And things are becoming not so black and white when it comes to being gay and straight. There are many shades of grey evolving."
One of Roberts' main objectives now is speaking to college students and trying to educate them about coming out, tolerance and sexuality.
from The Herald Standard