The Penis Mightier

Sunday night, as I watched Oscar winners receive their golden statuettes, I couldn't help but wonder, "Where is Oscar's bulge?" He's a pinnacle of traditional masculinity: broad shoulders, defined abs, tree-trunk legs and a square jaw. But he's surprisingly androgynous where it counts. And yet, he spent an entire evening feeling hot and large within the sweaty palms of the world's "beautiful people." It makes one wonder, if Oscar can get away with nothing between his legs, how much should any other guy be worrying about it?
The average penis size for American men is somewhere between five and six inches, according to
www.altpenis.com. And that is for an erect penis, which could be significantly larger than its softer side. But many men do not fall in this range and that simple fact has produced an industry of penis-"enhancing" pills, devices and surgeries. Most of them, of course, don't work, are inherently risky or require a meticulous routine of schlong stretches and stunts.
You've heard of pills like Enzyte-that's the commercial with "smilin' Bob," who looks like he just walked out of a 1950s barbecue on ecstasy. The ad suggests that Bob is "livin' large" now that he's found magic medicine for his member. The pill's main function is to increase blood flow and circulation, resulting in fuller erections. But Enzyte is more like an herbal supplement and less like a magic bean that will make your stalk grow. Like many such con-cock-tions, it contains Yohimbe extract, which comes from tree bark grown in Africa and is thought to produce sensational stiffies. However, it has its own list of side effects and it won't earn any notches on the tape measure.
But there is a cosmetic procedure for practically everything, and penis enlargement is no exception. There are two main methods for the male member: fat injection and detachment of the ligaments. The former removes fat from an area like the abdomen and inserts it into the penis and the latter internally de-anchors the penis from the pelvis so that it hangs looser and longer. It's as simple as setting the ship a-sail and there she blows. But a study by researchers at St. Peters Andrology Center in London shows that surgery only increases length by an average of 1.3 centimeters and about 70 percent of men were dissatisfied with the results. Urologist Nim Christopher told Reuters, "For patients with psychological concern about the size of the penis-particularly if it is normal size-there is little point in offering them surgery because it makes no difference." According to the study, surgery is raising little else besides the question, "How far will he go for half an inch?"
There are less invasive measures to augment one's armory. A ridiculous scene with Austin Powers and his penis pump comes to mind. Actually, it turns out that that cock contraptions and massaging methods are among the most successful ways to lengthen the love rod. When employed safely and diligently over a period of months and perhaps years, a massaging technique called jelqing will actually add a bit of length to the penis. How much is not agreed upon, but the supposedly ancient method is endorsed by snake-charming scholars.
Whatever. Slicing, dicing and stretching the dong because it doesn't extend further into the big bad world is just as absurd as labiaplasty. I said it before, and I will say it again: Male or female, pussy or penis, you are entitled to have someone appreciate your family jewels just the way they are.
Anyway, if you're a guy trying to please a gal, most women don't orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. A long, thick rod can be pleasing but it probably won't seal the deal on its own. In the words of Dan Savage, sexpert and columnist, "Accept what you've got, guys, learn to use it to maximum advantage, refuse to apologize for it, and don't waste money or mental energy on pills or surgery ... ask yourself these questions: How thick are my fingers? ... How long is my tongue? Big cocks are nice-they have their fans-but if you don't qualify for the big-dick Olympics, make the most of what you do have."
There's only one penis-enhancing technology I endorse and that's a home-grown erection from arousal.
from The Daily Californian

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