Gay Wedding Expo

Amid frequent court battles and rights-limiting initiatives, chocolate fountains may be the best sign yet that gay and lesbian marriage has arrived.
The community's acceptance of the straight wedding world's tacky side is proof that alternative commitments are no longer the rare, low-key and usually hushed affairs they once were."Gay couples have always had small, private events,"says Ivan Domazet, a photographer from Williamstown, N.J.'s Deb's Studios. "But as people become more accepting, couples are having bigger parties and inviting more guests-more co-workers and distant relatives."
Now they have a range of options, from Martha-inspired elegance to chicken dance kitsch. A couple Sundays ago Rainbow Wedding Network brought that gamut to Philly in the city's first gay and lesbian wedding expo at the Courtyard by Marriott.
Though smaller than more traditional events of its kind, the Same Love, Same Rights expo featured the usual smattering of wedding vendors-DJs, rental halls, bakers and jewelers.
"Gay wedding"is a misnomer. In most places it's better described as a commitment ceremony, and as such, lacks most of the legal (and biological) benefits straight couples enjoy. So peppered among the Pampered Chef, Miel Patisserie and Skylands at Randolph were representatives of Allstate insurance, financial service provider Legg Mason and Fertility and Gynecology Associates.
But a same-sex coupling isn't as grim as the lack of benefits (1,138 by the Human Rights Campaign's count) suggests.
Few traditional expos feature corsets and black leather tuxedos from Queen Village's Passional, or Private Pleasures' selection of Viagra for women and feminine arousal gel.
And since there aren't many religious leaders or judges willing (or able) to perform at ceremonies, nondenominational officiates were on hand to offer up their services as tolerant overseers of faith-based ceremonies.
The expo was for many businesses, both straight- and gay-owned, the first attempt at capturing a piece of a burgeoning market that just five years ago seemed insignificant.
"When we started the website, people in the gay community just laughed and would throw our cards on the ground,"says Marianne Puechl-Sproul, who started Rainbow Wedding Network in 2000 with her partner Cindy.
But since then the site has ballooned into a network of more than 4,500 gay-friendly business and services, and began hosting expos around the country in 2003.
Still, it's not always easy.
"Our sales reps still have businesses that hang up on them when they discover what we are,"says Puechl-Sproul. "They can be rude and mean, and sometimes they'll tell us we're going to hell."
But this new niche market is increasingly difficult to ignore. Most estimates put the value of the gay wedding industry at around $1 billion. And in 2004 Forbes released an in-house study that predicted a jump to $16.8 billion should same-sex marriages be legalized.
When that'll happen is anyone's guess. The New York Times' Sunday Styles section-the paragon of matrimonial announcements-now includes same-sex couples among its classic pairings of WASPy brides and financier grooms. But only a handful of states extend rights to gays and lesbians, and those vary from full marriage benefits in Massachusetts to Hawaii's reciprocal beneficiaries law. (Pennsylvania doesn't allow same-sex partners to marry, but does permit second-party adoptions, providing gay couples with joint legal guardianship.)
In 2004, 11 states-most in the South and Midwest-passed ballot measures limiting marriage to male/female couples, suggesting that despite the growing number of same-sex domestic partners, the dream of full marriage won't be realized for some time.
But that's not stopping everyone.
In August Jimmy Wall proposed to Jason Friel at Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco. The New Jersey couple came to the expo to kick-start their planning of a May '07 wedding.
They recognize the act as symbolic, but that only infuses it with more significance.
"It means a lot considering it's about us and not the benefits,"says Wall. "Let the government catch up to us when they want."
Friel has his own spin.
"It's tough not having the same recognition as straight couples,"he says. "But at least we'll never have to worry about it being shotgun."
from Philadelphia Weekly
Rainbow Wedding Network